2010-07-25 A Wise Choice
2010-07-25
The Seduction of Success (part 2)
As I’ve strived to lay my life before God, he’s given me new vision, as a fiction writer. But I still struggle with the question of success. How can I be a success if my manuscript is never published? What if it gets published, but no one reads it? What if I can publish one, but never again write anything worth reading?
For two years, I wrote children’s stories – fun little adventures I could share with my own children – but last year, God put a new story on my heart. I’d gone through some difficult situations here, and my opinion of Korea was low. If I could write a story about a woman who comes to Korea and goes through all the things I went through, I could deal with my own emotions through her struggles. I thought, “Great. I’ll write this story, and then I’ll get back to the fun children’s stories.”
What I couldn’t have foreseen was that God was bringing me to a crossroads. I had to make a decision about my writing. Would I continue to write for me, for my children, for fun or would I commit my writing to him, to write the stories that he put on my heart? I realized that, if I decided to devote my craft to him, it might never bring me commercial success. Maybe no one would ever know my name or read my books. Would I still trust God to use my talents the way HE saw fit?
I made the decision and drew up a contract with God. I would write, to the best of my ability, anything he put before me, and I would absolutely trust him to do whatever he chose with it. But that’s when the struggles really began. Rejections from agents and publishers, agonizing rewrites, days of staring at a blank screen – how could God be in this?
What am I even aiming for? Is the goal publication? I don’t know. I don’t know where I’m going or which direction to take. I’m not even sure if I’ll know when I get there. I feel a lot like Abraham, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” (Genesis 12:1) God is in charge of every aspect of my “career,” and to you, it may never look successful.
I don’t know what God has up his sleeve, but I know he has called me to write. He’s even given me stories to write. What will happen to them remains to be seen. Sometimes I trust, and I’m overflowing with joy, excited to devote all of me to God. Sometimes I wonder why in the world I chose to take the harder road. I could’ve had a nice little hobby writing children’s stories, maybe even gotten some of them published.
But then God reminds me to fix my eyes on him, to redefine success by his standards. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2) I have to allow God to change my view of success. I’m powerless. I live in the world. I’m surrounded by the world’s definition of success. I spent too many years buying into the desire for success. I need God to show me his definition.
And he does! One day I was agonizing over my lack of “success.” I felt like a failure because nothing was coming out right, the words were tripping over themselves on the page, and I was reminded yet again of just how far from publication I am. But suddenly, I realized, I am a success right now. My book may never be published on earth, but it’s already been published in heaven. I think it’s hanging on God’s cosmic refrigerator, right next to the artwork his other children have painted for him. And it’s not perfect, but it’s beautiful because it’s a gift devoted to a father. So if you don’t read my story here, look for it in heaven. I’ll be happy to sign it for you!
2010-07-18 The Promise for a Prostitute
2010-07-18 Paster Dr Dan Arminstead
2010-07-11 Nine signs of a healthy church
2010-07-11 Pastor Dave Shaw
“You Give Them Something to Eat”
13 When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
15 As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”
16 Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”
17 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.
18 “Bring them here to me,” he said.19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children. -Matthew 14:13-21 (NIV
Normally when you read this you think about the miraculous power of Jesus and how He fed the thousands of people (because the Bible counts the number of men at 5,000 and doesn’t add in the women and children, which would greatly increase the total number fed) with only five loaves of bread and two fish. Certainly this is a reasonable perspective but as I read it over I caught something that I hadn’t noticed before.
This event takes place immediately after Jesus finds out that John the Baptist was beheaded. Jesus withdrew to grieve the loss of John and came back to find that a large crowd had followed Him by foot. Despite being weary and in mourning, Jesus takes the time to minister and heal the crowd. The disciples, recognizing Jesus’ exhaustion as well as realizing that they didn’t have the resources to feed the crowd, recommend that Jesus sends the crowd away for the night.
Jesus’ reply is simple. “You give them something to eat.”
So they look around and scrounge up what they have which is just a meager amount of food.
Have you ever been put in a position where you can minister to others? I’m not talking thousands, but maybe just the friend that is hurting or the stranger in church that nobody is talking to? Have you ever felt totally unprepared to do what you’ve been called to do? Has the size of the problem seemed so overwhelming that you thought that there was no possible way that you can handle it?
Recently we started the Pure Desire Ministry. This ministry is for men, women, and wives that are struggling with sexual addiction and bondage. The sex industry is a $57 billion dollar industry worldwide and intentionally targets people using billions of dollars of advertising, websites, and other methods. Every second $3, 075 is spent on pornography with 28,258 viewers and the most popular day of the week for viewing porn is Sunday. The men and women coming in are struggling with an addiction that has devastated their lives and left them and their families in shambles. They can’t walk outside without some sort of reminder of the pervasiveness of the sex industry. Even walking to SIBC on Sunday morning you’ll find people on the streets following a night of partying and often times wearing what they wore the night before. How do we combat this juggernaut? How do we throw out a life preserver in the middle of a hurricane? How am I qualified to help people that are struggling? These are issues that Mary and I still struggle with years into recovery and we’re far from perfect. How can we be light in this darkness?
Answer: With 5 loaves of bread and two fish.
So Jesus takes these meager offerings and offers them to the Father. God blesses them and then, here’s the key, gives them back to the disciples, who hand them out to the people. Jesus didn’t go around handing out the food, He used His disciples to do it. In the end, all the people were satisfied and there was even an abundance left over.
One month into running the Pure Desire Ministry I am seeing God changing lives. I have seen men be able to say that they are sober for 30 days and they say that they have never been sober for that long since they can remember. I see men that say they don’t want to come but each week they are there and each week God works just a little bit more in their lives. I’m seeing men start to reconnect to God in their lives after struggling to hear His voice. It is incredible and it began with five loaves of bread and two fish.
The point isn’t about what you bring to Jesus. It’s not about the amount of education or money that you have to throw at a problem. It’s not about having the perfect plan or all the pieces falling into place at just the right time. The point is that you bring what you have to Jesus and He’ll equip you to take care of His flock, whether it’s facing a giant industry or just saying “Hello. How are you doing?” to a person in need. He will make you into His hands and feet, you just have to step forward and offer your fives loaves of bread and two fish.
