SIBC Gift to Fathers: Pastor Dad
With Father’s day upon us, we would like to extend the ebook, Pastor Dad, to all of the dads at SIBC. Published by Re:Lit books and distributed through The Resurgence web site, this ebook is an edited transcipt of a sermon preached by Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church, in 2001.
Take a little time to read through the book and then come back here and leave a comment. Tell us what you think. And, as this ebook can be distributed freely, so send a copy to a dad you might think would benefit.
Happy Father’s Day!
On Silence & Solitude, Part 1
“Let he who cannot be alone fear community; let he who cannot be in community fear being alone.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer
In this three-part series, I will focus on the Christian disciplines of silence/solitude (let him who cannot be alone fear community), followed by the Christian discipline of community (let he who cannot be in community fear being alone). In the third part I will offer some practical questions you can ask as you seek God’s will in your life.
Coming from a family of seven, I had always enjoyed being in the company of friends and family. So, when I first came to Korea in 2004, I had little trouble finding and hanging out with new-found friends. Then, about six months after coming to Korea and spending pretty much every weekend enjoying the company of these great people, I decided to chill out alone for the weekend – just me, myself, and I. On that Friday night, the beginning of my weekend alone, I virtually cried myself to sleep! What was wrong with me?
I came to discover, in 2004, that community had become an idol. That is to say, I was not depending on God for my identity and soul condition, but on my friends. I had so elevated the friends in my life, that they had displaced God as number one and, as such, had become my functional savior. As a result, I had become very busy in my life, but had no time to step back to work on my life. I was simply drifting through life with no purpose or goals. Had you asked what I wanted to do with my life, I could have given you some vague answers, but would have not been able to give you the smallest idea as to how I would get there (wherever “there” was).
The Christian discipline of solitude is designed by God to break the idol of community; the idol of becoming primarily dependent upon people rather than on God as revealed to us in the person and work of Jesus. What we see in the Scriptures is that Jesus himself invites us from loneliness to solitude. Throughout the Gospels, we constantly see Jesus retreat from the crowds for time alone with the Father [see Matt 4:1-11, Matt 14 (esp. v. 6, 23), Matt 26:36-46; Mark 6:30-32; Luke 5:16, 6:12, to give just a few examples]. I have become convinced that it was these times of solitude that enabled Jesus to know what it was the Father had for him to do (John 5:36) and know when it was finished (John 19:30).
There in, I believe lies the goal of silence and solitude: To know the Father’s will for our life and know when that chapter of our life is finished, lest we become slaves to pleasing people who have alternative wills for our life. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to say, “I know that which the Father has for me to do,” and when the time comes to also be able to say “This chapter of my life is finished!”?
So how can we go about carving out time from the hustle and bustle of life to listen to God? Below are a few tips that have proved effective for me and I trust prove hopeful to you as your work on your life to the glory of the Father.
- Unplug: institute a quiet place where no one can bother you. This could be a small room in your house, a retreat center, a quiet spot in the park or on the beach, a wilderness trail, or even a vacant church sanctuary.
- Enjoy the little solitudes throughout the day: first thing in the morning as you wake up, in the car on the way to work (or the bus/train), silence before a meal, etc. Even a toilet break can be a fruitful way to get out of the craziness of the office for a couple of minutes!
- Plan regular retreats to get extended time alone with God: once a month for one day (8 hours), a quarterly weekend retreat [Fri. night thru Sat. (or Sun. morning)], and, if you can make the time, an annual week-long retreat (5 days). Use this time to pray through the Scriptures, reflect on the past, plan, and set goals for the future (in this respect, focused prayer by writing in a journal really helps). If you have children, it might pay to try and offload them to the in-laws or some willing friends so you can vacate with your spouse to do this together.
- Wait on God: too often we pray all that we have on our minds then “hang up the line.” Give God a chance to speak to you through his Word and the Holy Spirit! Prayer is as much about listening as it is speaking!
- Drop your expectations: Jesus is not looking down from heaven grading your performance! He is glad that you showed up for a chat! Receive this time as grace.
- Slow down: Everything in Seoul conspires against this, but just taking the time to walk slower, drive slower, and eat slower puts us more in a position of rest.
- Exercise outdoors: there is nothing quite like a prayer walk by the river or on a small mountain trail.
- Plan your evenings well: take the time to actually prepare to sleep. The creation account in Genesis 1 shows that there was “evening and morning the first day” and so on. The cycle starts in the evening. In other words, we worship and work best from a position of rest. Are your evenings well planned so that you can go to bed and rest well?
- Come back to the community: whilst God does indeed guide us in times of silence and solitude, he also uses the community of the church and the Scriptures to hold us accountable. To quote Paul from Galatians: Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load (6:1-5). Our solitude is the time to take responsibility by seeking God’s will for our lives, but the community and the Scriptures are where we have that calling tested and approved and gives us the accountability we need.
I pray this proves helpful in your walk with God as you seek his grace in your life.
