The ‘International’ in SIBC
I had great plans for what I would write about in my next blog, but something happened that I cannot ignore. At church today, we sat in the balcony, behind Indians, beside Koreans and Americans, and I was served communion by an African. Our family has been going to SIBC for more than two years, and I’ve always appreciated the “international-ness” of the church, but today I realized how much God has done to bring us together.
Do you realize the incredible gift we have? The miracle that God has wrought in bringing us together? In some cases, our ancestors fought wars against each other or exploited and abused each other. As we sang “Amazing Love,” I cried, amazed by God’s love in us and through us. We – from such different backgrounds, cultures and languages – are united in our praise of the Almighty God, knit together as brothers and sisters because of his love. What a miracle!
As I sang, I knew that God was giving me a tiny glimpse of eternity. The crowds will be bigger, and the singing will undoubtedly be louder and more magnificent, but this is a small slice of heaven, and one that I will treasure as we prepare to return to the United States.
“After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb.” (Rev. 7:9)
Sunday School Teachers
We need your help for Sunday School Teachers/Leaders for the following groups:
- 1st-3rd Grade Teachers
- 4th-6th Grade Teachers
- Women’s Sunday School Leaders
Sunday School meets from 09:45-10:45 each Sunday morning before the 11:00 Service. If you are interested, please contact ben.horne@SIBCKorea.org.
Fantasy Perpetrator
Here’s one of my not-so-well-kept secrets. I’m a huge comic book fan. I recently purchased a large collection of old comic books and came across an issue that really stuck in my mind.
In All-Star Squadron #20 (a comic book that takes place during WW II), the Justice Society of America (JSA) was captured by the evil Brainwave. He used his telepathic powers to hypnotize and immerse his victims in a fantasy world where they were fighting the Japanese with their superpowers and having tremendous success. The fantasy world was so realistic that the JSA couldn’t distinguish the fantasy from the reality. Eventually Brainwave turned the fantasy around on the heroes and had the fantasy Japanese military “kill” the super-heroes. This had the effect of rendering each hero catatonic and near death. Brainwave knew that once the first superhero died in real life, it would push the other ones over the edge and they would die as well. A second team of superheroes (All-Star Squadron) tried to save the JSA by intentionally entering Brainwave’s fantasy world. Despite the fact that they knew from the beginning that this was a fantasy, one by one they also succumbed to Brainwave’s fantasy world, were “killed” and rendered catatonic.
The last hero to arrive was the Golden Age Green Lantern. He entered Brainwave’s world totally unaware that it was a fantasy. He found the fantasy bodies of his friends that were killed by the Japanese soldiers. Enraged Green Lantern attacked the Japanese military and slaughtered them without mercy. Next he attacked and destroyed the nearby Japanese city, killing innocent women and children.
After his destruction of the city, Green Lantern instantly regretted his action. He couldn’t believe what he did while in the grips of his grief and rage. He finds it so devastating that he decides to end his own life and destroy his ring (the source of GL’s powers) so that level of evil can never occur again.
However, Green Lantern’s attack was so powerful that it overloaded Brainwave’s equipment and threatened to kill Brainwave, the creator of the fantasy world. In a desperate attempt to save himself, Brainwave released all his victims and shutdown his fantasy world. Green Lantern’s friends communicate with Green Lantern at the last minute, preventing GL from committing suicide. He was shocked to see that it was all an illusion and that his friends were alive and well. He was even more horrified at what he did while in the grips of Brainwave’s fantasy world. His friends tried to console the Green Lantern by telling him that it wasn’t real and nobody was really hurt. Nevertheless Green Lantern remained devastated by his actions, real or imaginary.
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)
It’s no coincidence that Jesus focuses on our thought life and what’s in our heart. Our hearts can lead us astray. We can dull the biting edge of our Holy Spirit-guided conscious by continually ignoring it. Our hearts and our minds are a reflection of who we are or at the very least where we are.
As I continued down the road of sexual addiction, one of the ways that I would act out was by reading erotica. In many ways the extremely graphic nature of the stories was even more powerful than the pictures and movies that I would watch. I would play the scenes over and over in my mind. When the stories became repetitious I would simply change the actors (myself always being the “star”) or the scenario. Over time, the stories that I sought transitioned from the soft core to increasingly extreme hardcore (because lust is NEVER satisfied). I was free to do whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted within the fantasy world inside my mind.
This became the point when I started viewing myself as a monster. I couldn’t believe the things that I needed to arouse myself and started to become terrified of what the next step might be. The fantasy world was becoming indistinguishable from reality. I could relate to Green Lantern’s feelings of shock and disgust with himself. I would try to convince myself that since it was only a fantasy, it wasn’t real, but I knew better.
Eventually God convicted me that there were victims of my sin that I refused to acknowledge. The nameless actress in the image or movie who came from a lifetime of abuse, the author of the story that I encouraged to write more stories that would take him or her to darker places in their mind, my wife to whom I cheated on over and over in my heart, my kids who would figure out what was going on. The moment when God removed the scales from my eyes was simultaneously the most painful and glorious moment of my life. He used it to pull me out of the pit that I was stuck in and bring me into a loving and healing relationship.
There are times when it is still a struggle. When my past sins taunt me as reminders of who I was. At times, they beckon me to return to my old ways and try to romanticize the “good old days” of acting out. It is in those moments where God whispers to my heart and reminds me of how far we’ve come. He reminds me of the good He is doing in my life and the healing He is performing in my family. Like the Green Lantern, I will always remember my actions, but unlike the comic books, where God is rarely represented in a positive fashion, I also know that my sins have been forgiven and I am free to live in Christ, which is greater than having any superpower in the world!
Success and the ‘P’ Word
I have a confession to make. I’m prideful. I know, to those who know me, it’s probably not a big secret! But for a long time, it was a secret to me. I didn’t see it. In fact, I thought I was a pretty humble person. When you start thinking that, you’re probably in trouble!
My pride isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it’s subtle, under the surface, barely detectable, but like termites eating away at the frame of a house, it’s there, slowly destroying me.
As I’ve struggled with the definition of success and what success means in my life, I’ve come back again and again to the subject of pride. As God has helped me fix my eyes on him and his plans for my life, I’ve realized that he’s intentionally allowed me to NOT achieve worldly success. It’s hard enough for me to be humble now. Imagine how bad it would be if I were a best-selling author of multiple books with people asking for my autograph!
Sometimes God allows us to be “failures” by the world’s standards because he’s much more concerned with our hearts. “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” (Matt 16:26) He has an eternal perspective, and he’s not impressed by our worldly accomplishments.
Think about that: God would rather have you fail at everything, but have the humility to seek him than for you to be the greatest in the world and never see your need for him. That turns our definitions of success upside down!
Maybe someday God will be able to publish my writing without me getting prideful, thinking I’m wonderful and talented, and my hard work has brought this success. Maybe I’ll just always be a “closet” writer and only a few close friends and family will enjoy my work. My greatest prayer is no longer to find success and fulfillment, but rather for God to only give me what will bring me and others closer to him. If that means I always fail, that I can wallpaper my house in rejection letters, so be it.
“Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” (Deut. 8:11-14)
Another Gospel – Part 2
Galatians 1
1 Paul, an apostle–sent not from men nor by man, but by Jesus Christ and God the Father, who raised him from the dead– 2 and all the brothers with me,
3 Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ,4 who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father,
5 to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
No Other Gospel
6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel–7 which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned!
9 As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!
10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
This week’s sermon was about how we find ourselves turning away from the Gospel. We don’t necessarily intend to walk about, but we do it in subtle ways. Sometimes we let guilt and shame convince us that we are unlovable. Sometimes we believe that we have to earn our way to Heaven in addition to accepting Christ as our Lord and Savior. Sometimes we add rules to follow in order to justify our salvation. All of these are forms of abandoning the true Gospel of Jesus Christ’s grace and mercy.
BLOOD DONORS NEEDED
If are Rh- blood type you could help save lives in Korea. Stem cells are desperately needed. Call Nurse Moon at 010-3007-3340. She is Dr. Moon’s nurse and speaks English. Pray about helping with this vital medical need.
The Seduction of Success (part 2)
As I’ve strived to lay my life before God, he’s given me new vision, as a fiction writer. But I still struggle with the question of success. How can I be a success if my manuscript is never published? What if it gets published, but no one reads it? What if I can publish one, but never again write anything worth reading?
For two years, I wrote children’s stories – fun little adventures I could share with my own children – but last year, God put a new story on my heart. I’d gone through some difficult situations here, and my opinion of Korea was low. If I could write a story about a woman who comes to Korea and goes through all the things I went through, I could deal with my own emotions through her struggles. I thought, “Great. I’ll write this story, and then I’ll get back to the fun children’s stories.”
What I couldn’t have foreseen was that God was bringing me to a crossroads. I had to make a decision about my writing. Would I continue to write for me, for my children, for fun or would I commit my writing to him, to write the stories that he put on my heart? I realized that, if I decided to devote my craft to him, it might never bring me commercial success. Maybe no one would ever know my name or read my books. Would I still trust God to use my talents the way HE saw fit?
I made the decision and drew up a contract with God. I would write, to the best of my ability, anything he put before me, and I would absolutely trust him to do whatever he chose with it. But that’s when the struggles really began. Rejections from agents and publishers, agonizing rewrites, days of staring at a blank screen – how could God be in this?
What am I even aiming for? Is the goal publication? I don’t know. I don’t know where I’m going or which direction to take. I’m not even sure if I’ll know when I get there. I feel a lot like Abraham, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.” (Genesis 12:1) God is in charge of every aspect of my “career,” and to you, it may never look successful.
I don’t know what God has up his sleeve, but I know he has called me to write. He’s even given me stories to write. What will happen to them remains to be seen. Sometimes I trust, and I’m overflowing with joy, excited to devote all of me to God. Sometimes I wonder why in the world I chose to take the harder road. I could’ve had a nice little hobby writing children’s stories, maybe even gotten some of them published.
But then God reminds me to fix my eyes on him, to redefine success by his standards. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2) I have to allow God to change my view of success. I’m powerless. I live in the world. I’m surrounded by the world’s definition of success. I spent too many years buying into the desire for success. I need God to show me his definition.
And he does! One day I was agonizing over my lack of “success.” I felt like a failure because nothing was coming out right, the words were tripping over themselves on the page, and I was reminded yet again of just how far from publication I am. But suddenly, I realized, I am a success right now. My book may never be published on earth, but it’s already been published in heaven. I think it’s hanging on God’s cosmic refrigerator, right next to the artwork his other children have painted for him. And it’s not perfect, but it’s beautiful because it’s a gift devoted to a father. So if you don’t read my story here, look for it in heaven. I’ll be happy to sign it for you!
“You Give Them Something to Eat”
13 When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
15 As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”
16 Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”
17 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.
18 “Bring them here to me,” he said.19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people.20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children. -Matthew 14:13-21 (NIV
Normally when you read this you think about the miraculous power of Jesus and how He fed the thousands of people (because the Bible counts the number of men at 5,000 and doesn’t add in the women and children, which would greatly increase the total number fed) with only five loaves of bread and two fish. Certainly this is a reasonable perspective but as I read it over I caught something that I hadn’t noticed before.
This event takes place immediately after Jesus finds out that John the Baptist was beheaded. Jesus withdrew to grieve the loss of John and came back to find that a large crowd had followed Him by foot. Despite being weary and in mourning, Jesus takes the time to minister and heal the crowd. The disciples, recognizing Jesus’ exhaustion as well as realizing that they didn’t have the resources to feed the crowd, recommend that Jesus sends the crowd away for the night.
Jesus’ reply is simple. “You give them something to eat.”
So they look around and scrounge up what they have which is just a meager amount of food.
Have you ever been put in a position where you can minister to others? I’m not talking thousands, but maybe just the friend that is hurting or the stranger in church that nobody is talking to? Have you ever felt totally unprepared to do what you’ve been called to do? Has the size of the problem seemed so overwhelming that you thought that there was no possible way that you can handle it?
Recently we started the Pure Desire Ministry. This ministry is for men, women, and wives that are struggling with sexual addiction and bondage. The sex industry is a $57 billion dollar industry worldwide and intentionally targets people using billions of dollars of advertising, websites, and other methods. Every second $3, 075 is spent on pornography with 28,258 viewers and the most popular day of the week for viewing porn is Sunday. The men and women coming in are struggling with an addiction that has devastated their lives and left them and their families in shambles. They can’t walk outside without some sort of reminder of the pervasiveness of the sex industry. Even walking to SIBC on Sunday morning you’ll find people on the streets following a night of partying and often times wearing what they wore the night before. How do we combat this juggernaut? How do we throw out a life preserver in the middle of a hurricane? How am I qualified to help people that are struggling? These are issues that Mary and I still struggle with years into recovery and we’re far from perfect. How can we be light in this darkness?
Answer: With 5 loaves of bread and two fish.
So Jesus takes these meager offerings and offers them to the Father. God blesses them and then, here’s the key, gives them back to the disciples, who hand them out to the people. Jesus didn’t go around handing out the food, He used His disciples to do it. In the end, all the people were satisfied and there was even an abundance left over.
One month into running the Pure Desire Ministry I am seeing God changing lives. I have seen men be able to say that they are sober for 30 days and they say that they have never been sober for that long since they can remember. I see men that say they don’t want to come but each week they are there and each week God works just a little bit more in their lives. I’m seeing men start to reconnect to God in their lives after struggling to hear His voice. It is incredible and it began with five loaves of bread and two fish.
The point isn’t about what you bring to Jesus. It’s not about the amount of education or money that you have to throw at a problem. It’s not about having the perfect plan or all the pieces falling into place at just the right time. The point is that you bring what you have to Jesus and He’ll equip you to take care of His flock, whether it’s facing a giant industry or just saying “Hello. How are you doing?” to a person in need. He will make you into His hands and feet, you just have to step forward and offer your fives loaves of bread and two fish.
The Seduction of Success (part 1)
What is success? How do you know when you’ve achieved it? Will your bank account tell you? Do your career achievements define success? What if you have a good family? What if you’re failing miserably at your career, your family seems dysfunctional, and you don’t have two dimes to rub together? Are you a failure?
I’ve spent my two years in Korea wrestling with God, agonizing over these questions.
For awhile, my life looked like it would be successful. I won a full scholarship to a prestigious college prep school and went on to study at Columbia University, one of the top universities in the United States. I studied Russian, hoping for a career with the State Department. But then, it all fell apart.
I struggled with undefined health problems that no one could diagnose. Was I crazy? Maybe I just didn’t want success enough. It took almost 10 years for me to finally finish my college degree, and when I finally earned it, it didn’t say “Columbia University” on it.
I struggled with my career, never quite finding my niche. I went through a series of bad jobs with difficult bosses, always insecure because I’d never achieved the success that had seemed so tantalizingly close. I worked at a few high powered sales jobs, miserable at the one I was successful at and completely failing at the one I liked.
When I finally started to see some professional success, my husband joined the Army and was sent to Korea. I quit my job to come here, and I agonized.
I was nearing 40, and I had nothing to show for it. My fellow high school students went on to run major companies, took hiking trips to Tibet, and saved the whales in their spare time. What was I? An Army dependent with no identity outside of my husband. No career, no future. I had three great children, but was that it? Was that all there was to life? What would I do when they grew up and left?
I spent countless hours crying out to God. Why am I here, here in Korea and here on earth? Do I matter or am I just a failure?
It’s taken two years (I’m kind of a slow learner!), but I’m beginning to understand. God does not define success the way I do. Success in God’s eyes has nothing to do with money, possessions, career, relationships, or even happiness. I can lose everything and still be a success because God has eternal vision. He sees what’s beyond, not just the here and now.
If I’m caught up in the world’s definition of success, it’s because I’ve forgotten 2 Corinthians 4:18, “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
God’s definition of success is very simple, not easy, but simple. “Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.” (Romans 12:1)
God wants everything. He wants my hopes, dreams, desires, fears, even my very life. If I’m striving to serve him in this way, to lay everything on the altar before him, then I’m a success, no matter what the world says, even if I’m not hiking Tibet or saving whales!
Welcome to SIBC
Welcome to SIBC’s Home Page. This is the first post and I pray God’s blessing on this site and all who use it. Please remember our goal is to please JESUS CHRIST and bring Glory to HIM as our Lord and Savior. Happy blogging!
