Sexual Addiction Recovery
- The adult entertainment industry generates $12 billion dollars in annual revenue — larger than the combined annual revenues of ABC, NBC, and CBS (Family Safe Media, January 10, 2006).
- 38 percent of adults believe it is ‘morally acceptable’ to look at pictures of nudity or explicit sexual behavior
Morality Continues to Decay. Barna Research Group, 3 November, 2003.
- Of more than 2500 university and college students polled, 87 per cent of them are having sex over instant messenger, webcams or the telephone. CampusKiss and Tell University and College Sex Survey. February 14, 2006
- The largest group of viewers of explicit material on the internet are children between ages 12 and 17 Family Safe Media, December 15, 2005 .
- Over 40% of women on line are involved in problematic cyber behavior. Counselor June 2006, pg. 34 “Women and Sex Addiction” by Dr. Patrick J. Carnes
- On Mother’s Day 2010, a dating website for married people had 31,427 married women sign-up in a single day to meet men outside their marriage.
- In his book, “Men’s Secret Wars“, Patrick Means reveals a confidential survey of evangelical pastors and church lay leaders. Sixty-four percent of these Christian leaders confirm that they are struggling with sexual addiction or sexual compulsion behavior.
The evidence is clear from both the statistics above as well as what can be seen everyday; we live in an increasingly sexualized society. This is true whether you live in the United States or abroad and whether you are a Christian or live a secular life. Not only do we live in a sexualized society, we live in a very addictive society. Addictions include countless areas like chemical/drugs, gambling, workaholics, and sexual addiction.
Sexual addiction: any sexually-related, compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one’s work environment – Dr. Patrick Carnes
Sexual addiction occurs for a number of reasons, but a common, recurring trait is that sexual addicts are trying to avoid pain. This pain could be current or pain from wounds of the past. Regardless of the origin of pain, the sexual addict will use sexual actions (“acting out”) to make themselves feel better for a period of time.
The internet is the equivalent of crack cocaine for the sexual addict. Thanks to increased coverage and mobile internet-connected devices, it is easily accessible anywhere and at anytime. It also supports user anonymity, so the user can be anyone they want to be or be completely invisible. This supports the creating of the double-lives found in all addicts lives.
Like any addiction, over time the addict develops a tolerance for the sexual stimulus and require greater level of stimulation to achieve the same arousal that they did in the past. This is the point where more extreme and deviant behavior will occur. In the beginning soft-core pornography was sufficient, but now the addict requires increasingly more extreme material to become aroused. As the addict continues on, they become dissatisfied with their real-life sexual relationships and attempt to re-enact the sexual acts that they view. Understandably, the addict’s spouse is confused by this change in behavior and will react in a number of different ways. This reaction can range from submission to the addicts demands to outright rejection or to the creation of a co-addiction, where the spouse develops an unhealthy relationship pattern as a direct response to the close involvement with the addict.
Sexual addiction affects everyone. The largest growing population are children from the ages 12-17. Another rapidly growing group are women sexual addicts. Children of sexual addicts find themselves caught up in their parents behavior and unable to cope with the broken relationships that they see modeled. Later in life, they transfer this broken understanding into their own adult relationships and the cycle of sexual brokenness continues. This is the generational sin in action!
The Sexual Addiction Screening Test can help determine if you or your loved ones may have a problem with sexual addiction.
God’s Plan for Sex and for Healing
Healthy sexual intimacy within the marriage relationship is a critical component of God’s design for marriage. He designed it from start to bond a husband and wife and make their relationship stronger. Sex was not meant to isolate people and weigh them down with feelings of guilt, shame, and loneliness. Nevertheless, we have strayed far from God’s original design but there is healing and hope. God can renew your mind and heal your broken heart.
“The moment when God removed the scales from my eyes was simultaneously the most painful and glorious moment of my life. He used it to pull me out of the pit that I was stuck in and bring me into a loving and healing relationship. “ – Mike (after 25 years trapped in addiction)
Pure Desire as a part of God’s Plan for Healing
Pure Desire is devoted to healing men who have become addicted to sexual behaviors harmful to their social, family, and spiritual well being. Through God’s Grace and Forgiveness, Pure Desire is setting men free, so they can walk in the saving Grace of the Lord.
Seoul International Baptist Church offers a Pure Desire Group for men that are struggling with sexual addiction. The group meets weekly and is led by people that have experienced first-hand the effects of sexual addiction as well as the healing power of Christ. Through weekly accountability, studies of both the Bible and other material, and through facilitated group discussions, members walk through the process of breaking through denial to understand their addiction and eventually come to the point God renews their mind and spirit.
If you or your loved ones are struggling, you are NOT alone. There is healing and hope. Please contact the people below:
Pure Desire Men’s Group
For help and information please contact PDmen@sibckorea.org.